I’ll Rape You

I will fucking rape you.
I will not tell you when it’s going to happen.
We’ve already discussed this. You’ve already consented.
I know you want it.
I know it’s what you need.
You know I crave it even more.
You want me to take you by surprise.
You want to feel it for real.
The fear, the threat, the hurt, all of it.
You want to let go. I want to let the monster out.
This monster that doesn’t play, but hunts. It doesn’t warn, but captures.
I want it rough, I want to ravage you.
I want to tear you open.
I will grab you when you least expect it.
I will force you when I feel right.
I will call you names, humiliating names.
I will not be nice.
I will be brutal, ruthless.
I will leave bruises.
I’ll restrain you, tie you up, blind fold you, and make you feel helpless.
I will slap and punch you when you try to fight back.

When I’m done using you..

I’ll hold you close.
I’ll wipe your tears.
I’ll tell you proud of you I’m. how you’ve let the monster have its fill one more time.
I’ll bring us back down to reality, with kisses and caresses.
I’ll tell you how much I love it.
This is love. My kind of love.

I’ll rape you.
I’ll love you all the more for it.

How to identify a Psychopath

With the large amount of psycho/socio/etc-paths on FL, Lets speak about the way to identify a psychopath.

I will ask you a logic question and you should figure out the answer. You dare not to scroll down and see the answer. Try to figure it out yourself.

Here is the story of a young girl.

At her mother’s funeral, she saw an unknown young man. He was charming, really the man of her dreams. She madly fell in love with him. After a couple of days the young girl killed her own sister…

Question: What motive did she have to do it?

Go on figure it out.










Answer: She hoped that the young man would appear again at the funeral.

Explanation: If you gave the correct answer, you probably think like a psychopath. The test was apparently developed and used by a famous American psychologist( hey, i said he was famous, i don’t need to give names :P ) to determine whether a person has murderous mentality. Several criminals who did the test correctly answered the question.

If you did NOT give the correct answer, it is good for you!

If you did, well, tell me for fuck’s sake so that i can “block” your ass out. :P

Jokes apart, read this up people. :) pretty interesting. – How to identify Psychopaths and sociopaths


Short poetry inspired by my lovers, my partners
( updated April 9 , 2015)


See, there’s always a price for courage.
All his resentful tears
Are converted into muffled sobs.


In his brown translucent eyes,
I would always see
the obscure stare of pain.



Everyone has demons.

She kept hers locked up inside the cage, in the deep recess of her brain where their shouts were too faint to be understood. Too jumbled up to be coherent. And sometimes they spoke in language she wouldn’t understand. She kept them locked away regardless.

But some days, she wants to open those cages and let them engulf her. Let them drag her in, drown her out. Those demons are the only refuge she has from incessant irrational rambling of her heart.

Because eventually, after all the dreadful debates, they’ll all be exhausted. They’ll all find silence and she – her solace.

She’s perhaps a bigger masochist than she thinks she is.

Do you?

You rouse in me the sinister darkness that hides within, lurking about in nooks and crannies of everything kind and sweet that if not I am.

But do you know how to deal with once it comes out to play?

Do you?

Do you know it seeks to destroy your defenses, obliterate pretenses, and tear down every last brick of your crumbling wall?

Do you know it desires an utter compliance, an abject submission, surrendering all what you are?

Do you know it will push you unrelenting, farther – and further to the edge, till you relinquish?

Do you know it knows no boundaries, no restrictions, leaving no lines left to cross?

Do you know it solicits one thing and one thing alone – sacrifice, of your mind, body and soul?

Do you know it will not stop till you do? Never renounce till you have.

Do you?

19 random things about me

1. I love ice cream like no other. Any season, any time, ice cream has an innate ability to cheer me up. Ironically plain vanilla is right now my most favorite flavor of ice cream. Chocolate comes close second.

2. I cry while watching movies, listening to awesome music, and reading books. I’m hopeless romantic and I wear my heart on my sleeve.

3. I’m clumsy. OR rather I get so focused in things, that it makes me forget about everything else and hence I end up stumbling, falling, bumping toes, making things fall, breaking things etc. Although these days that happens less because my boys know this tendency of mine, and they keep a lookout for this kind of damage.

4. I laugh. A lot. At smart humour. At silly things too. Today it was Monty Python movies that got me there.

5. I get addicted to music tracks. And listen to it over and over again – like 200 times. From last few days, this is the one track that I’m addicted to – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iEDYB7pY7U

6. I am a go with a flow kind of a person, and don’t like planning things to minute details. Except while I travel, when I have my itinerary planned very meticulously.

7. I have a travel bug in me, I love exploring new places. I think I can live my life in a trailer-van and be super happy. Aimless wandering would be a peaceful experience for me.

8. I take people at their face value, yet at the same time, I do not trust them till they give me a reason to. I’m cynical like that.

9. I love cooking, and feeding people. It brings me satisfaction to see people enjoy what I cook for them.

10. Whenever I’m doing something or planning something, I think of all the things that can go wrong with it WAY more than the things that will go right. Like if I’m on road driving, I’m constantly thinking of 10000 ways the driver ahead of me can cause an accident and die.

11. In early teen years, I used to be very short tempered and never knew how to relieve myself of those frustrating feelings of anger. After a while I came to a novel solution that worked. I’d take an old newspaper and tore it down to small pieces, page after page. And go on for hours at times.

12. I enjoy tickling people. The more ticklish they are, the more fun I have. I love making people laugh, more than they want to.

13. I love being kids with kids. My niece and nephew enjoys that their aunt can very well be a 5 yr old with them.

14. I am a gadget geek. Opening them up to see how they work and then putting them back together gives me immense pleasure.

15. I don’t ever leave home without putting on lip gloss. Though I rarely put on any other kind of makeup. Perhaps a bit of mascara gets added to the list.

16. I wear spectacles and love it. I think even when I was not required to wear it at an earlier age; I opted in to wear it.

17. I love unique features in my men. Be it crooked teeth, mancinism, or asymmetrical smile. They make him look so handsome.

18. I adore pets, And the unconditional mutual affection. I have experienced being with many kind of pets – birds, cats, dogs, turtles, snakes and most importantly humans.

19. I love loving people. Call me a mush factory if you will. And I love those people more who do not take themselves too seriously.

Little Girl

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
― Anaïs Nin

like a little girl
I love
with all my heart.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

I love…

I love.
With all my heart.
With all that I am.
Sometimes complicated.
Sometimes as utterly simple as
a bone crushing hug
doesn’t want to let go…

How Kink saved my life…

I’ve always said Kink doesn’t delineate me. Being kinky is a great part of who I am. But it’s just that. A part. A facet. A dimension. Sometimes I hope other people also realize that they are so much more than just “kinky”. The possibilities are actually infinite. One needs to just stop focusing on this lone thing and take a step back to look at a larger picture.

For me, it also works as an expression. Mostly an expression of intense love; sometimes a therapeutic outlet of emotion. It’s not a leisure pursuit, and it’s not a profession. (Though nothing against those who consider it any of the above. to each it’s own.)

Being kinky has its affirmative effects along with its negative. Recently it’s been more positive on all grounds. It gets me calm, centered, dare I say spiritual! The only negative it gives is that it becomes the easy fix to get there. But the best thing that being kinky has done for me lately is that – it has saved my life! Ah well, sort of.

An early detection for any major health concern is always life saving. You get to know it better, stop it from getting worse, steer it in a course that is beneficial and healthy to you. Earlier this year, that’s what has happened. I think if I wasn’t into a certain few kinks, it would be much later that I’d come to know of my health risk.

I have been diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus. The method with which it was diagnosed first is a method that was used by ancient Romans. There has been a mention of this technique in Indian scripture of Sushruta Samhita as well. That method is one of the sure shot ways of identification of this ailment.

In the list of described Paraphilias, it’s called Urolagnia. For the sake of simplicity, in our kink world we call it – Golden Showers, water sports, etc.

A few months earlier, following one of the sessions that included indulging into golden showers, my partner mentioned it to me that I tasted “sweet”, which was rather new and a bit worrisome. Over the period of next few weeks, I got more confirmations about the same. I mean, who wouldn’t love to have a raison d’être to do certain kinky things over and over: P. The conclusion was that it was not a one-off thing. My urine consistently tasted sweeter.

Then it was time to get the medical verification. This, as expected, concurred. I began the treatment and got on a road to a healthier life. Few months down the line at the present, I’m well adjusted to all the lifestyle changes, have never been healthier and feeling better .

It could have gotten worse. Diabetes isn’t called a silent killer without reason. It has a very real likelihood of damaging vital organs beyond repair if it remains untreated for long. By being diagnosed quickly, I’ve been spared from many complications. So yes, I can boldly say, being kinky has saved my life.

May it save yours too!