After all this years of trying out new things and experimenting.. to realise what ticks me the most… I’ve come to notice, by the norms of d/s, i can put my self under the category of sadist.
Its always been like that i think, Firstly it was a matter of conflict, at not being able to understand why i was thriving to hurt Ember, most of the times. And then it lead to acceptance, that i am the way i am, and we are the way we are, wether or not it is a good thing or a bad thing by definitions.
well, most of the times, I am not like that. I love my submissive and I am quite content with the play we have without me lurking in the sadist side of my persona. But as Ruby says it, she fears that side and loves it more than anything. Of course, she provokes me to get there by being SAM, but it works most of the time as I know she is doing this mostly for me , cause she’s not as strong a masochist. But I am an intense sadist. And this is totally working between us, cause most of the times, i know she wouldnt beg for it, as it would then be the submission, which is good too, yet not close to the non-consensual consent she is trying to achieve. Oh, thats so much of a contradiction!!
Anyways, I totally agree with what my Ruby said.
Cause After all, whatever is right for me and her, is a right thing to do!