Sadist and Masochist – an ideal pair?

A nice discussion here at FETLIFE –

Question that was asked..

If a masochist enjoys pain, what does the sadist get out of it ?

Expanding a comment I made to a kestrel recently: I find little pleasure in inventing ways of creating pain and discomfort, only to have it wasted on someone that enjoys whatever they get, namely, a masochist. I would much prefer my efforts landed on someone like me, who would hate every blow and struggle to get free from my bonds with a force that was frightenin.

Answer I gave ..

very interesting conversation here on this thread. one of my favorite threads already.

anyway, adding my two cents, i will say what i think right.

To my thinking, an ideal sadist and masochist are never a right pair. I mean, sadist likes to inflict pain and enjoy the fact that the partner is not getting off of it. and in an ideal situation the masochist gets off of the pain, physical and emotional.

I call my self a sadist, and i have had quite a few partners to realise the fact that i am more a sadist than a dominant. at times, what gives me a kick is the fear and scare in the partner’s eyes, at the imagination of what i can do to him.

and thats where if my partner is a real masochist, he would enjoy the pain, the hurt. the extreme efforts that i am making to make him fear me, would go to vain, as he would get off of it, and not be really afraid.

In an ideal situation, i would want a non-masochist. but then i am living in a world driven by consent. And a non-masochist would rarely agree to my sadism. There will be a no mutual win-win scenario and the scene wouldn’t happen. in fact, i wouldn’t really want to do that to someone who really doesn’t want it. complicated, isn’t it?

In opposite to that the willingness of a masochist would at least let me do the evil cruel things i want to do. Yet being a masochist, he would immensely enjoy it and that would not give me what I want. complicated again, right?

thank god, we don’t live in the ideal world. I do get to find a new masochist, or a devoted submissive, who is either at start of his masochistic journey, that i would be able to scare him with my expertise or he is submissive and we have created a bond where apart from the fact that he is a non-masochist, he would submit to my sadist whims. chuckles


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