For Every SAM[smart-ass-masochist] there is one ROS[really obnoxious sadist]

TOP 7 Ways to be a SAM[smart-ass-masochist]

  • Take out your toolbox, grab a hacksaw, and cut the heels off of her pretty, new thigh-high boots.
  • Grab the Super-Glue and glue the tips of all her nipple clamps together.
  • Practice your knot tying with her bondage ropes… make sure you leave the knots in before putting it back in the toy bag.
  • In the middle of that morning spanking, start yawning and snoring.
  • While you are waiting for her to finish spanking, start grading her each stroke on scale of 0 to 10.
  • Is she rushing to meet a deadline at work? Perfect! Call every 15 minutes with questions like “How many sugars should I put in my coffee?” and “I have turned on the TV, what channel I am allowed to watch?”
  • Take out her nail polish and decorate all his toys with red polka-dots.

Top 7 Ways to be a ROS[really obnoxious sadist]

  • For gagging, use Giant Super Bubble gum, finding the weirdest flavor possible.
  • When your sub starts turning blue from too-tight bounds, tell them how it brings out the color of his eye.
  • For wax-play, paint your sub entirely black, and then cover the whole area with wax. then scratch the colors off with a toothpick, revealing an interesting design underneath.
  • Sit upright for a backrub, keep saying “a little to the left” until they get dizzy from going around you.
  • Super glue the nipple clamps while they are ON him.
  • When you sub begs to cum, look perplexed and say, “silly…you are already here”
  • Insist that you are a born natural with a bull whip.


  1. curious15cat · April 20, 2011

    Hahaha this is pretty funny =)

  2. Pingback: What are Brats and Smart-Assed Masochists? | Submissive Guide
  3. Pingback: Brats, SAMs and Break-mes - Deviance & Desire

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