All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. – Anatole France
I have been too busy to notice it lately, but the season of changes is already here. May be its just our demanding lives with extremely stressed work schedules. May be it’s a course of life. Or maybe, for a least bit of chance that it could possibly be, we are just heading backward.
A tiny incident can bring a jolting revelation, like an addition of a last drop in a jar, to finally overflow.
My train of thoughts started its passage from a particular event. Its few hours down the line, and I have come to notice a few bits and pieces that I have otherwise not recognized. Sometimes it feels like putting pieces of puzzle together and see the picture emerge.
So what happened? Well, He snapped. And it’s nothing really. It was a passing moment of discomfort for him that got translated in a small emotional tantrum. And I thought I was probably just being my sometimes sadistic self.
But it left a lasting impression on me. Is it where the downward spiral starts?
I look back on recent times and realize we may be turning into the couple who is losing the spark of romance from their lives. Because for me BDSM is continuance of the romance and not a part that only switches on over the weekends and holidays.
Perhaps I am reading too much between the lines. Perhaps it’s just how settling down feels like.
But then again I do miss those quick moments of passion in between our busy days.
I wish if it turns out that I am just forcing the pieces of puzzle together and filling the cluttered space with my imagination of something that isn’t even there.
I really do.