I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.


I love…

I love.
With all my heart.
With all that I am.
Sometimes complicated.
Sometimes as utterly simple as
a bone crushing hug
doesn’t want to let go…

How Kink saved my life…

I’ve always said Kink doesn’t delineate me. Being kinky is a great part of who I am. But it’s just that. A part. A facet. A dimension. Sometimes I hope other people also realize that they are so much more than just “kinky”. The possibilities are actually infinite. One needs to just stop focusing on this lone thing and take a step back to look at a larger picture.

For me, it also works as an expression. Mostly an expression of intense love; sometimes a therapeutic outlet of emotion. It’s not a leisure pursuit, and it’s not a profession. (Though nothing against those who consider it any of the above. to each it’s own.)

Being kinky has its affirmative effects along with its negative. Recently it’s been more positive on all grounds. It gets me calm, centered, dare I say spiritual! The only negative it gives is that it becomes the easy fix to get there. But the best thing that being kinky has done for me lately is that – it has saved my life! Ah well, sort of.

An early detection for any major health concern is always life saving. You get to know it better, stop it from getting worse, steer it in a course that is beneficial and healthy to you. Earlier this year, that’s what has happened. I think if I wasn’t into a certain few kinks, it would be much later that I’d come to know of my health risk.

I have been diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus. The method with which it was diagnosed first is a method that was used by ancient Romans. There has been a mention of this technique in Indian scripture of Sushruta Samhita as well. That method is one of the sure shot ways of identification of this ailment.

In the list of described Paraphilias, it’s called Urolagnia. For the sake of simplicity, in our kink world we call it – Golden Showers, water sports, etc.

A few months earlier, following one of the sessions that included indulging into golden showers, my partner mentioned it to me that I tasted “sweet”, which was rather new and a bit worrisome. Over the period of next few weeks, I got more confirmations about the same. I mean, who wouldn’t love to have a raison d’être to do certain kinky things over and over: P. The conclusion was that it was not a one-off thing. My urine consistently tasted sweeter.

Then it was time to get the medical verification. This, as expected, concurred. I began the treatment and got on a road to a healthier life. Few months down the line at the present, I’m well adjusted to all the lifestyle changes, have never been healthier and feeling better .

It could have gotten worse. Diabetes isn’t called a silent killer without reason. It has a very real likelihood of damaging vital organs beyond repair if it remains untreated for long. By being diagnosed quickly, I’ve been spared from many complications. So yes, I can boldly say, being kinky has saved my life.

May it save yours too!


7 reasons I love My pet

1. My pet joyously jumps me every time I come home or he does. And he is always in the mood to cuddle.
2. My pet enjoys long walks on the beach, on the pavement, inside the mall, carrying my shopping bags, etc.
3. My pet never complains about my cooking. In fact, he licks up all the spills in the kitchen.
4. My pet never steals the covers and always keeps me warm at night. Sometimes too warm!
5. My pet shares my awesome belief that there’s never a wrong time for a nap.
6. My pet doesn’t fight with me about what show we should watch on TV.
7. My pet loves me unconditionally.

A Blank Canvas

A blank canvas,
Smooth and fragile
Safe and Sound.
Her fingers
Struggle to restrain
Red paint sears through
Crimson stream trickles down
The canvas is scarred.
The paint is remnant of
Pain , Passion
Lust , Longing.
Even after the paint fades
Perpetual perfection remains
An ode to the prestige of an artist.

The Me’s

inspired by writing from Black_helveticaThe me’s.

I’m many people.

1. I’m a twisted, perverted sadist who enjoys tormenting her willing/non-willing victims. Tears on my victims are incredibly sexy to me, regardless that they came from bodily hurt or mental torture.

2. I’m a monogamous yet poly amorous , loyal and person of principle. I don’t follow societal moral code, though i have my own belief system that i swear by. I give 1000% commitment to my partner in life/love and expect the same in return.

3. I’m a geek, i love my gadgets. i find intelligence to be the sexiest thing in a person. safe to say, i have a sexual attraction towards certain level of intelligence, whatever the gender may be. at the same time, i despise prudish, half baked show offs.

4: I’m a spiritual gender fluid person, converting fluidly between female to male at all times. Shiva’s ardhnarishwar image is the spirituality that i identify with.

5.I’m a female who enjoy having control over her life and environment. Lack of it irritates and aggravates me. person no 1 usually relives no 5 of her frustration by doing what she does best.

6.I’m a male who is protective to the edge of being possessive, and deeply emotional. I’m a masochist as i can go to any lengths to protect the ones i love. person no 5 makes sure to not let person no 6 go overboard as no 6 is a vulnerable, soft and lovable guy.

7. I’m a heterosexual in my gender fluidity. male in me gets attracted to females and female gets attracted to males, yet its the gender attraction, not related to body parts.

All of them stay within me, at all times. in their respective little compartments, sometimes not talking to each other for months. but they have learnt not to fight and let each other be. :)

Self Preservation

self-preservation [self-prez-er-vey-shuhn, self-] n.

1. Protection of oneself from harm or destruction.
2. The instinct for individual preservation; the innate desire to stay alive.

Self-preservation is the first law of nature. There are times its better to step away from things/people to gain perspective then to stay and worsen the situation.

… and for that, I will never feel guilty. no matter how much anyone tries.